THe Four Elephantmen of the Apocalyse, or maybe no
by DavidoffBrittonova
Summary: MAybe PG13 is too low, I'll leave it for you, but this is a Xena story that's Xena/Gabrielle, and hints at a Xena/Lucifer relationship. Yes, you read that right. X/L Maybe I'll be famous. LOL!


The Four Elephant men of the Apocalypse.or maybe not. By David B  
  
Xena is definitely copyrighted to RENPIC Studios, along with Argo and Gabrielle. The Greek God Ares is not owned by anyone.so there. Lucifer, well, the Catholics might own him. ( Anything else is owned by David B. Okay, I don't own anything much, so never the hell mind.(  
  
Not exactly NC-17, not exactly R, and almost PG-13, if you can have sexual moans in a PG-13 story. This story is seen through a former Archangel's eyes. It's somewhat first person. Not that I'm good at it though. Set after You are There. Contains minor spoilers for it and Heart of Darkness  
  
Prologue: NC 1701  
  
It's not easy being ugly.or red-skinned, for that matter. I mean, what does it mean; the iron in my blood has increased dramatically? Give me a break. Try explaining this to a Doctor in the 20th century. Yeah, that's the strange thing about Hell, you can know all that is going on in the world, in any time period. Back in Heaven, only God could see the future. Yeah, I'm not exactly pissed off at him. I mean, look at the stories that have been made telling about how I led a rebellion. Wonderful, make me look bad why don't you, Michael? We're brothers! Sigh, it's hard to tell what was worse, getting knocked here by Xena, or the fact that I was starting to fall in love with her. Grumble; let me tell you how annoying that can be. Just like when the Reporter interviewed me. "Yeah, like we don't know what's going on between the two, sure." Caligula had a point there. That's why he's only tortured on Tuesdays. Hehe, hey, you try having my job for a day. "Oh, but you will." I said that to the reporter for the Hell of it. Wahaha. Good pun, Lucifer. .  
  
Sigh, you try being here for just one day, feeling what I feel, knowing what I know, you'd go mad. Like looking through the Necronomicon when you're not ready. Heh, trust me on this, it exists, and it has the power to make whoever reads it a God. Provided that they don't go insane first. Ah, Hell, I sound like an endorsement for Chtulu enterprises. Hehe. Well, enough about ranting, it's time to go check on a certain raven-haired beauty and her lover.  
  
Lucifer appeared fifty-five feet away from where Xena and Gabrielle were making love. He could hear their cries, and it made him smile. "At least I will get them in the end, there are some things, that God can't forgive.Hehehehe. I always wondered why he made Archangels homophobic.made no sense to me. Granted, I'm not gay, and anybody who says otherwise will be castrated for eternity.but.I digress. "  
  
He sighed, and pulled out a scroll from the air. He started writing down something. "Ah, yes. This will be a good message to wake her up by. " He scribbled down some words, and flared the signature with a few strokes of fire. Three marks underneath his name were written and sealed. The scroll rolled up and sealed itself. He smiled. "Go, land near Xena, show her what I know, and let us see if she's willing to meet me for lunch. Hehehe." He smiled as the scroll flew in the air; over to where Xena was now resting.  
  
Xena woke up as something soft struck her on the arm. She reached for her sword when she saw the scroll. She relaxed. No scrolls have killed her yet. She laughed at that, nearly waking up the bard. She broke the seal and started reading the letter. When she finished, she read it again, blinked, and threw it into the fire. It flew back out, grew a fist and shook it at her. She shook her head and read the message one more time.  
  
"We meet again, Xena, don't we. You may have thought I was stuck in Hell forever, but I found out that I have certain access privileges to the Earth. In short, I can come out of Hell any time I want. And all I want is to talk to you, yes, talk, not murder, rape and pillage. Although, with the increase in my penile length, you might want the second, Hehehe, Kidding. Apparently your feelings for Gabrielle were only recently discovered, because you and I had some great times. Whether or not you want to remember those times or not. In short, I'm giving you a chance to keep a few secrets from Gabrielle, and follow me, to the Garden. You should know where it is, tell her you have to go away on a mission of mercy. Heh. I'm asking you, I'm not holding any hostages here. Come to the Garden, be with me one last time, and I shall let our past die there."  
  
Xena looked at the scroll, and started sobbing. "I don't know why I'm doing this, but I've got to understand what he means!" She took the message with her, and wrote a letter to Gabrielle. She placed it on her bedroll, and set off on Argo II.  
  
A little while later, Gabrielle woke up. She looked around for Xena, and then saw the scroll. She read it and blinked. "Why'd she leave me so suddenly?"  
  
"Gabrielle, I must go, there's nothing I can do to explain, but please, let me do this myself. I need the time. I'll be back in two weeks."  
  
"Two weeks, For Eli's sake, where is she going?"  
  
Chapter 2 Forty-five days and forty-five nights  
  
Xena looked up at the sky, and saw a clear path cut through the clouds. The road she was on ended on the edge of a cliff. She stopped the horse and got off. "Sorry, Girl, but I've got to go on by myself. Don't worry. Find Eve; carry this message to her. She'll be the one to tell Gabrielle. Especially since you can't talk." She laughed as she slapped the horse on the rear to make it go. "Goodbye, Gabrielle." She stepped up to the edge, and took a step forward. She did not fall, but continued onwards on thin air. She made her way to a door made out of air, and opened it, and entered.  
  
Xena looked around the Garden known as Eden, and said. "Much has changed, I see." Xena turned around and saw Lucifer in his repulsive form. "I don't know how I could have ever loved you, Lu, you changed so much from where you were last. How did we ever end up together? For awhile, I was with you, yes, but we were never an item. Never, and especially after you told me I would feel your wrath! You dammed yourself this way." Lucifer smiled, and flexed an arm. "What do you understand about me. I still love you! I will still love you. You don't understand me! I gave it all up for you, even if you didn't want to make me the King of Hell, I would have been thrown out for being in love with you. I would, and did give up Paradise for you, Xena! And you tell me it's nothing?" He controlled his anger, but by a bare minimum. "Look, Lu, we had something, but you know the kind of person I am, I loved you for awhile, but I had to use you, otherwise I would have ruled Hell! Do you know how bad that would have been? There would be no Heaven if I ruled Hell!" Lucifer nodded. "Understandable, and I know that you needed a scapegoat, all I'm asking is for one last time together. That's all." "Don't you understand it, Lu, I can't, there's no way you and I can be together. What we had is gone, I'm with Gabrielle now." "I know that, but you're bi-sexual, don't tell me you've just become woman only?" Xena smiled. "Funny, look, there's just no way now, no way."  
  
Lucifer looked at her, with sorrow in his eyes. "Then it's all safe and done, I'll walk away, but you will face my wrath now, you can be damn sure of it." Fire surrounded him, and swept a path towards Xena, she jumped out of the way. The trees in the path of the fire turned to ash immediately. "I knew you'd be too powerful for that, Xena, but don't think I won't come back, with an entire army. Enjoy Gabrielle, she won't be there long." He took one last look at her, all traces of his humanity finally lost, and said. "See you in Hell, Xena. See you in Hell." He burst into flames and disappeared through the ground." Xena sobbed. "You just don't understand Lucifer." She sobbed and walked back out the door. Ares was there, waiting. "Tough times, huh, Xena?" "Fuck off, Ares!" "As much as that would be nice, I understand the torment, but be warned, his power now far outweighs mine. Hell, He'd put Chronos on a run for his money." "Why are you telling me this?" Ares smiled. "Because, in a way, I am like him." He made a scroll appear. "Go back to Gabrielle, and read this when you get there. I'm different from him, but I'm like him in the same way." "I don't understand, are you saying you're a King of Hell?" "I'll tell you one last thing before I go, Xena. I created Hell, oh, and Dahak's my Son, but don't hold that against me. It's all in the scroll." He disappeared before Xena could say or throw anything at him. "Dahak's your son? How?"  
  
Down the road about five candlemarks later, Xena ran into Eve, and her horse. She got on it, and said. "Thanks for coming, but I didn't need you after all." Eve nodded. "I understood your message. What did Lucifer want?" "He wanted something he could have ever again." She said, and sobbed.  
  
To be continued?  
  
It's up to you, and please tell me how bad, or how good it is. I will be revising it later, to beta it, so to speak, but my beta tester has been raptured. And she hates religion!  
  
David B. Productions. 


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